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Some days I feel like it’s happened, other days I’m waiting for the sound of the key in the lock and my Dad (not the quiet fragile old man in the hospital bed, but my Dad) coming through the door, home from work with binders of engineering under his arm or home from a Saturday bike ride, smelly and sweaty and smiling with his headphones leaking music. In some ways it has been like watching him go in slow motion, and not just physically; I haven’t heard him truly laugh for a long time. I can’t imagine my life without a person who has been so important in shaping it, who stayed up late guiding me through countless math assignments, who read to my sister and I every night and who bought me roses on Valentines Day after my high school boyfriend dumped me.

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